Sometimes—no, many times—when I sit quietly and think about the quality of people we elect as Senators and Members of the House of Representatives, I break down and cry for Nigeria. Not the cry of tears alone, but the cry of helpless laughter. The kind of laughter that ends in silence.
Because this country is not lacking in intelligence. It is lacking in December sense.
Everybody knows that we are in the Yuletide period—that sacred Nigerian season when generosity is not measured by impact, policy, or sustainability, but by congo of rice. December is the month when stomach becomes the Constitution and Chicken the Supreme Court.
In December, a public office holder who has aides—especially aides who have laboured, suffered, campaigned, trekked, shouted slogans, defended nonsense, absorbed insults, and followed him when nobody knew his name—is expected to do the needful.
The needful, for the avoidance of doubt, is rice, beans, chicken, goat, makaroni, groundnut oil, maybe turkey if God touches the heart.
But then, somewhere in this country , yes in Oyo State —somewhere in what I shall sarcastically refer to as nerve centre of South West politics S—a Senator decided to disgrace the entire Yuletide tradition.
His name is Abdulfatai Omotayo Buhari, PhD, the Senator representing Oyo North Senatorial District in Abuja.
Let me be fair—painfully fair. This is not a stupid man by history. Records are stubborn things, and the records refuse to cooperate with my outrage. For this Senator has, over time, built a reputation as a decent, compassionate, and responsive representative of the people.
For the sake of justice, let us even list ten of his well-known achievements, because truth must never die on the altar of satire:
- He has facilitated employment for constituents.
- He has also facilitated a University to his Senatorial District.
- He has supported students with scholarships and bursaries.
- He has also planted many ICT Centres.
- He is known as the only Senator who had extended hands if fellowship to the physically challenged set of the society
- He has intervened in medical emergencies.
- He has empowered youths and artisans.
- He has assisted women traders and cooperatives.
- His empowerment interventions have been described as the biggest so far in Oyo State.
- He has supported party members in distress.
- He has maintained accessibility to constituents.
- He has invested in education and capacity building.
- He has helped resolve community disputes quietly.
- He has generally behaved like a humane public officer.
All these were on record. Solid. Verified. Undeniable. But all these achievements collapsed in December. Because in this sensitive month—this emotional month—this stomach-oriented month—while other Senators were pampering their aides with consumables, this man chose rebellion.
He looked at two of his most trusted aides—men with wives, children, responsibilities, school fees, Christmas visitors, and hungry relatives—and decided to commit a historic blunder.
He did not give them rice or beans. He did not give them chicken or goat. Rather, he gave them letters. Letters. Rubbish. Two wretched, offensive, heartless pieces of paper. As if paper can enter pot. As if ink can be fried with pepper. As if employment letter can replace Christmas stew.
And to worsen the insult, the foolish letters contained messages from two Federal Government institutions, offering these aides permanent employment with mouth-watering salaries, career progression, job security, and pensions.
Can you imagine the level of wickedness? Instead of two congos of rice, he gave them monthly salaries. Instead of beans, he offered them economic stability. Instead of chicken, he handed them dignity of labour. Instead of goat, he removed them from the concrete jungle of unemployment.
Is that what December is for? Is that how to treat loyal aides?
Who told him that permanent federal employment is better than festive consumables? Can appointment letter feed Christmas visitors? Can pension be shared among in-laws? Will job security satisfy neighbours who came to eat rice?
Stupid Senator. Ṣíọ̀r!
This is how leaders spoil things—by thinking long-term in a short-term country. By offering destiny when people are expecting dinner. By choosing sustainability over stomach infrastructure. By teaching people not only how to fish but take them to agbalagbulu Omi to fish endlessly.
In a nation where December generosity is the true metric of leadership, this Senator failed woefully. Senator Buhari passed governance but failed Yuletide. He scored high in policy but zero in rice.
Ẹ̀ pẹ̀lẹ́ oooo.
May God forgive him—for failing the December test while accidentally transforming the lives of his aides forever. May Allah, the most beneficient and merciful grant Senator Abdulfatai Omotayo Buhari the desire of his Hearty.
