In the comical courtroom of Nigerian politics, where arrogance is celebrated and listening is considered a weakness, an extraordinary trial recently took place — one that has left the nation gasping in disbelief and laughter.
The accused? Senator AbdulFatai Buhari, the distinguished lawmaker, representing Oyo North Senatorial District in Abuja and beloved son of Oyo State. The charge? Consulting his people before deciding to run for governor.
Yes, you read that right. In a country where most politicians make decisions in hotel lobbies or whisper them into godfathers’ ears, Senator Buhari did the unthinkable — he asked for the people’s opinion.
The case was heard in the notorious Court of Public Misconception, presided over by the ever-suspicious Justice Ignoramus Agbaya (Retd.), under Charge No: POL/2027/CON/001.
“Consulting?” thundered the Judge. “In this part of the world, leaders decide first and explain never. What kind of democracy is this man trying to practice?” The court gallery erupted in murmurs. For the first time, humility was on trial.
Leading the prosecution was Hon. Know-It-All, armed with a file full of achievements, each presented as if it were a crime. “My Lord,” he began dramatically, “the accused has been holding meetings across Oyo State — from Iseyin to Ibadan — with councillors, secretaries, supervisory councillors, and chiefs of staff. Instead of instructing them, he listened to them. This is a dangerous precedent!”
He adjusted his wig and continued: “Before becoming a Senator, he was already a habitual offender — empowering youths and women, training them in digital skills, facilitating a Federal University of Technology for Oyo State, repairing roads, electrifying villages, awarding scholarships, supporting farmers, and even fraternizing with royalty as an adopted son of the Olubadan of Ibadanland! My Lord, this is not politics — it’s humanitarian disturbance!”
The Judge, visibly scandalized, gasped. “He even combines culture with service? That’s double offence!”
Rising calmly for the defence was Barrister Common Sense, brief in hand and confidence in tone. “With all due respect, My Lord, what my learned friend calls ‘offence’ is what the world calls leadership. Consultation is not rebellion — it is responsibility. Only serious-minded men seek counsel before action. Abraham Lincoln did it. Nelson Mandela did it. Winston Churchill did it. And now, Senator Buhari is doing it in Oyo State.”
The Judge frowned. “You mean to tell me this man is following the path of greatness — in Nigeria?”
“Exactly, My Lord,” replied Barrister Common Sense. “He is bringing sanity to arrogance, dialogue to dictatorship, and people into politics. His so-called crime is democracy in its purest form.”
The gallery erupted in laughter and applause. A few citizens whispered, “Maybe we need more criminals like him.”
After moments of dramatic silence, Justice Agbaya delivered his verdict:
“This Honourable Court finds Senator AbdulFatai Buhari guilty of excessive humility, chronic consultation, and dangerous democratic tendencies. However, in the interest of Oyo State and future generations, the court hereby sentences him to continue consulting his people without end. He is further ordered to spread this infectious disease of inclusion until every Nigerian leader catches it.”
The gavel fell. The courtroom rose. Common sense triumphed.
As the people trooped out, their laughter mingled with admiration. They were smiling — not because the Senator was convicted, but because, for once, a politician was found guilty of doing right.
Alhaji Jide Ibrahim, one of the observers, declared:
“If this is a crime, then may every politician in Oyo State become an offender!”
Oyeyola Israel, another witness, added:
“He made us feel important — imagine that, in politics!”
Ogunyemi Adeoye, speaking with a grin, concluded:
“For once, leadership came down from the balcony to sit among the people.”
If consultation is wrong, then democracy itself must plead guilty.
If humility is an offence, then the prison of leadership must be filled with men like Senator Fatai Buhari.
In the final analysis, this so-called trial has revealed one truth: the real crime in politics is not consultation — it is arrogance.
And if listening to the people is a punishable act, then Oyo State may proudly declare that its most dangerous criminal is also its most honourable leader.
Wale Ojo-Lanre, Esq.i is the
Senior Legal Reporter, Oyo State Tribune Newspaper
